Thursday, October 16, 2008

Resurfaces

Across chrome alleys,

(brilliant though I am,)

untouched meditations of tribal villas

(jettisoned memories)

host sacred tablature

(slink in antiquated courtyards
depleted of artifacts;)

screaming obscenities

(yet civil guards tenuously remain)

—forgettable words

( ... )

which nobody recognize

(to scavenge for lost jettison)

nowadays

(like 'tatterdemalion'.)





for read write poem prompt #48: ("Tatterdemalion slink across chrome alleys ...")

•      •      •      •      •


par·en·thet·i·cal • adj. of, relating to, or inserted as a parenthesis: ignore the parenthetical remarks that pockmark every page.

The Oxford Pocket Dictionary of Current English (2008)



The above form is what I call a parenthetical poem. A parenthetical poem can be read in three ways: as a whole, with the parenthetical "remarks" acting like a witty (or annoying) line-by-line rejoinder (the background breath); with the remarks removed; or by reading only the remarks.

The idea of the parenthetical derives from the double exposure, the form invented by Greg Williamson.

The poem above was made by taking the words from original poem in the above prompt


tatterdemalion slink across chrome alleys
villas deplete memories of sacred tablature
antiquated courtyards host tribal artifacts
which nobody recognizes nowadays remain
untouched yet civil guards scream obscenities
lost meditation resurfaces I brilliant though
forgettable words tenuously scavenge jettison


and remaking it as a parenthetical poem. (All the words from original poem are used with a couple of grammatical inflections imployed.)

7 comments:

  1. I would like to explore this form...Thanks!

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  2. interesting. Great effect for sure. Thank you for he information on this for...

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  3. This quite fascinating... thank you for opening new doors!

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  4. Great! 'they' say you learn something new every day. This is new to me well written, clever stuff!

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  5. Well here I was prepared to say all this shit about how you can read the poem several ways and how the structure is brilliant. But you said it all. ;)

    I do like the layering. Very much. I've been doing some similar work with transliterations from Middle English, using the caesura as a way of creating (at least) three distinct poems in one. It's fun.

    What you did here was very very effective. I feel giddy when I can read something a variety of ways, especially when that "something" is well-written and well-executed.

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  6. Great. I laughed out loud at forgettable words (...) and the end. Best use of Tatermedalion I've seen yet. :)

    I love this form and feel inspired to try some myself... Maybe an official read write word prompt soon... anyone?

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  7. I love your work with form. The parentheses create great rhythmic patterns and I really like the one for "forgettable words."

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