- Heaven. LORD (HAROLD) and (H.G.) TAYLOR are in bed reading their NOOKs.
-
- H.G.
- [Puts NOOK on lap.]
- I've been thinking, Lord.
- HAROLD
- Now what, Taylor?
- H.G.
- I know you created this universe together and all that, but I've always wanted to raise a son of our own.
- HAROLD
- We can't even raise a universe. Look at the mess it's in. We have all our angels around us to keep us company. What's the ultimate power gay couple like us going to do with our own flesh-and-blood son? I mean I love you always, Taylor, but ...
- H.G.
- But, Lord, they have been around us, like, forever. I love you always too, and I want him to be yours, I mean with your, uh, stuff. You know, "Thy kingdom come"?
- HAROLD
- Oy.
- H.G.
- And maybe raising him on Earth with his T-B-D surrogate mom is best. When he becomes a man, he could help them clean up their mess.
- HAROLD
- If I go along with this, I want him to call me 'Father'.
- H.G.
- And he will call me 'Dad'.
- HAROLD
- So what do we do?
- H.G.
- We find a suitable mother on Earth. In Judea. You sort of payed special attention to the people there, like they were your hobby or something.
- HAROLD
- Don't be cute.
- H.G.
- Tomorrow, I'll take some of your "kingdom come" down and impregnate her.
- [Opens bedside table drawer and takes out a glass beaker.]
- Ready?
- HAROLD
- Now? I have a headache.
- H.G.
- [Starts getting frisky with HAROLD.]
- I can make the headache go away.
- [LORD HAROLD and H.G. TAYLOR start going at it. Fade to black. Sounds of ejaculation. Light back on.]
- H.G.
- [Holding flask.]
- Well that's taken care of. I'll put it in the fridge and take it down in the morning. Got the syringe handy too. [Holds up syringe.]
- HAROLD
- I want Gabriel to go with you.
- [Rings GABRIEL's bell.]
- Could you come in here please?
- GABRIEL
- [appears]
- Yes, Lord?
- HAROLD
- Taylor is going in the morning on a little mission. He'll fill you in. Be an angel won't you and go with him?
- GABRIEL
- Yes, Lord.
The Acts Of The Holy Ghost ~ A Play In One Act
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